Welcome back. I think in my last post I sounded pretty motivated. Sometimes I am. The truth is, I'm extremely ambivalent. Some days I'm all charged up, ready to take on the world and go out there and make my own destiny, but more frequently I feel like I have to force myself to get going.
I try not to think about politics or the economy too much, because when I do I feel simultaneously enraged and defeated. I try not to get my hopes up too much about employment, because it feels like every time fate throws me a bone, it's really just a rubber chew toy attached to the end of a string and I'm being jerked around.
I have submitted dozens of applications over the last 8 months, and lots more over the last few years. I have had....ohhh, maybe 10-12 phone interviews at this point. I have gotten 3 second-round in-person interviews in different states, traveling thousands of miles in the process. I've given presentations, walked all day in the rain in heels and a skirt, been subjected to hours of
Am I too perky? Am I not perky enough? Am I too young and inexperienced? That I can't do a whole lot about. It's hard not to take it all personally. After all, if I were good enough surely someone would have hired me by now. My mentors tell me I'm smart and capable. My shrink tells me over and over again to look around me, it's 2011. Nobody's getting jobs. But it wasn't until I traveled into the deep South this past month for the latest job interview that the reality of the economic downturn (let's be honest--the New Depression) started to sink in.
As a rule, the rural South has been the nation's poor dumpy sister pretty much since the fallout of the Civil War. Even so, certain areas tend to be more stable than others, holding up even through the leanest of times. The town I visited was one of these more stable areas, supported both by the industries of higher education and the military. And yet fully 1/3-1/2 of all of the non-chain stores in the town proper were either closing down or had already closed. Houses were being rented out all over the place because people had given up on trying to sell them. Brand-spanking new entire condo buildings were being foreclosed on. Outside of the city limits was even worse.
At that point I think I realized for the first time, truly deep inside, that it's not all about me. I know that businesses are cutting costs, and in doing so opting to hire experienced workers who already have the training and who can jump right in without much support in lieu of bringing in new talent. Even for "entry-level" jobs, most ads require 2 or more years of professional experience. And when people are being laid off left and right, it's not hard to find someone with the experience willing to work for less pay. The problem for my generation, for us newbies, is that we can't get the required experience because no one is willing to hire us. It's not that we're not likeable. It's not that we're not talented. It's not even that we're lazy or untrainable. It's just plain and simple a matter of stability. No one wants to take the risk. And we are a risky investment. It's like trying to get a loan with no credit history. You may seem like a reliable person, but it's safer and easier to go with someone with a paper trail. Oh, and did I mention that they don't have to be trained? Never mind that many of us are self-training and very motivated.
So what are we supposed to do? Those of us who graduated at beginning of the downturn are terrified. We're afraid that the only thing we've got going for us in our chosen professions is our newness, our fresh points of view, our momentum and our invigorating attitudes. By the time people start hiring newbies again we'll be stale, and we still won't have any experience. We'll be passed over for the new new grads--the ones that won't be bitter, the ones that will still have all the professional ideals still fresh in their minds and hearts.
Dear Reader, it's hard to stay positive in times like this. I'm still waiting to hear about my last interview, but at this point I'm afraid to get my hopes up again.
Until next time,
--The Limbo Runner
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