It ne'er rains but it pours

Dear Reader,

I nearly posted the other day about simply giving up and letting the universe win.  I'm really not a fighter.  I mostly want world peace and local peace and personal peace and all of that kind of idealistic nonsense. 

The sad thing is, my life isn't all that bad.  And I am getting interviews.  But I'm so tired of interviews.  I had an interview with the public library at which I volunteer this past Friday.  I think I have a good shot at the job.  Unfortunately, it is only half time and pays less than my last job.  On the upside, it would be good experience for my resume, I would be doing good for my community, and it would keep me occupied and make me feel like a contributing member of society.  So overall, a good deal.

However....  There's always a "however" or a "but".  I got a call late the same afternoon inviting me to a phone interview next Monday morning for a full-time, professional academic position in my local area.  I should be ecstatic about this, and all pumped up.  But I'm not.  In some ways I'd rather just take the part-time job and give up on job hunting altogether.  I know that the academic job would be better for me financially, would be full-time, and would contribute more to my career future.  But I would hate to take the job at the public library, working for people I care about, and just quit on them 6 or 8 weeks in.  Assuming that I even get a second-round interview.  And after said interview, I get offered the position.  Which could happen anywhere in the next month or three.  And I would spend the whole time not knowing.

I hate the uncertainty.  I hate the constant wondering.  If I can get the academic job I really do want it, but a part of me says "Bugger it, just take the public job and work it for a year or two.  Surely things must get better in there somewhere.  So what if it doesn't have any benefits or health insurance.  So what if it doesn't pay much and wouldn't look as snooty on your resume.  At least it doesn't have the word 'temporary' anywhere in the title.  You can drop the unemployment insurance, stop sending off applications, and if need be, get a second part-time job."

So I'm hoping to do well on my interview next Monday, but I really can't wait to get the whole deal over with.

Until next time, Dear Reader.

--the Limbo Runner